Pardon the typical observational comic introduction, but what is the deal with guys smelling women's underwear?
It seems to me that whenever a male is in the presence of female undergarments, he cannot resist the urge to pick them up and smother his face with them. When did underpants become something you want on your face? From my experience, underpants come into close contact with sweaty nether-regions. Sure, the mental patient will occasionally don his britches on his head... but generally speaking, these are filthy articles of clothing.
Why then do guys have the sudden inclination to smear this filth all about one of the most bacterially-susceptible areas of their body? Is there something I don't know about the female anatomy?
Maybe the crotches of women are miniature paradises. They're full of a magical love-force, previously only tapped into by Care Bears... flowers sprout up spontaneously, without nutrients, simply by the sheer beautiful power of the vagina.
Who would ever have thought that the beauty of a pearl could be elicited from a seaweed-laden, odorous bivalve. Is it so far fetched then to conceive that fairies are spawned from female genitalia? I think not!
Men aren't rubbing panties on themselves for some base reason; they just want to fly like Peter Pan.
"But Chris, this is all poppycock! It's completely and utterly false!"
Silence!
I don't want to know the grim truth about what really goes on down there. I've got to believe what I need to believe. Now let me smell this mis-placed thong in peace.
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